I’m sure we’ve all seen those posts “Why Long Distance Relationships Suck” or “Why Long Distance Relationships Make You Stronger” and felt some part of us shudder/cringe. If not, I applaud you. I don’t want this to be one of those posts. At the end of the day, every relationship is different, and if you want something to work, then it probably will. Note that I’m gonna shorten long distance relationships to LDRs from now on because I’m lazy.
I’ve had two boyfriends so far in my life (and you know, kinda hoping I won’t have anymore as I want this relationship to last forever). And despite now living quite far away from my BFF (boyfriend forever), I am SO MUCH CLOSER to him than my last boyfriend who lived in the same cities (both my ‘home’ city and uni city) as me. This is mostly down the fact that this boyfriend actually wants to do things with me and meet up with me, and isn’t keeping me a secret from his family like my last boyfriend.
Anyway, there are some really important points about LDRs that every single article I’ve read never talks about. To start with, you know what the actual most frustrating thing about being in a long distance relationship is for me? It’s missing the physical closeness to my partner.
I get to talk to my partner multiple times a day. We have Facebook, texting, phoning, Whatsapp, Instagram, Snapchat constantly at our fingertips. We don’t actually use Skype, which seems to be a popular choice for long-distance couples, mostly because he won’t buy a video-camera thingy. Instead, we just exchange lots of selfies throughout the day…
This means that I only really miss touching, kissing, hugging and sex with my partner. The most annoying bloody thing (literally) is when you are on your period on those few days you get to see each other. And it feels like this always happens to me and it makes me so pissed off with my womb! Like for goodness sake, it’s had the rest of the month to mess about and regenerate, couldn’t it have waited a few more days?! Wombs are pretty much the most selfish body part. Seriously, this needs to be top of the list on the “Worst Things That Happen When You’re In a Long Distance Relationship”.
The second worst thing is how expensive it is. We try to see each other every 2 or 3 weeks (because argh I miss his lil face) but this takes its toll on the old bank account. I get the train up to his family’s house in the Lake District, and in order to save as much money as I can, I catch the early train because it’s £20 cheaper. This means that I have to leave my house at 6am…
Anyone who knows me even a little bit, knows that I am an absolute monster bitch zombie in the morning who finds it very difficult to crawl out of bed. All I can say is this is truly a testament to how much I love my partner (and also how tight with money I am, but we’ll skim over that). Even with taking this cheap train, the train journeys alone cost me over £50! Long distance love is expensive.
Number 3 is tied to how much we talk to each other. In fact, it can be seen as both good and bad… I myself am pretty undecided because part of me knows it’s weird even whilst I love it – but I know about every little thing my partner does and vice versa. If he’s ill then I hear about it in graphic detail and I even get to hear about his dogs’ poo lengths! We’ve reached that stage where nothing is hidden between us, but when you are far away and having it described to you, it’s usually worse than you experiencing it with them…
Also, the FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) is real. When he’s happy, I want to be there. If something hilarious happens, I want to be there to cackle at him. When he’s crying, I want to comfort him (not that he does this very often, don’t worry). I’ve currently got that song “2 Become 1” by the Spice Girls in my head and it’s very #relatable. When you love someone you are in a relationship with, things become about “us” instead of “me”. This is going to sound very soppy, but it does feel like a part of me isn’t complete without him? *insert groaning sick noises here*. Okay, don’t worry, I’ll stop now.
I don’t think I’d ever choose to be in a long-distance relationship, because I know that I’m happiest when we’re together. But sometimes it’s a necessity that you’ve just got to get through and if you really love your partner, you can get it to work out if you know you’ll be living together in the foreseeable future. I personally can’t wait for that day.